"I've been trying to understand people around me all of my life; I wanted to understand their anguishes, their troubles, their minds; I wanted to know the causes of their troubles and find a solution to all of them. This went well for a while; but then it started affecting me and I could finally realise that there was no cure for everyone, that i must accept my failures as well as my triumphs. I had to let go since I was becoming one of them - one of those who get unsatisfied with their own beings after doing what they've been told; I was becoming dull and gray as I was tring too much to help others and too little to help myself. in the way. There must be some limit, some boundaries must be created if not found since all this is getting us sick, sickening our wonderful world."

"I must be grateful for everything I've got so far or I wouldn't be here, doing something, chasing the try of stealing some idea of Miracle! 

Yes, I am grateful! Grateful for the things I learned and the good people I met all along my journey in life; I'm grateful for the miracle of life. Grateful for all the love I was blessed with - it showed well and was reflected by my entire self. So was trouble. I am grateful for everything that was helpful - and that includes my personal spiritual torments and quests, my storming feelings, my hides and my seeks; my imagined or projected upon other people dreams: they were usually good dreams, fine dreams, wonderful dreams, amazing and brave. Even in my darkest nightmares my characters were always able to find their wys out to happiness in eternity - sometimes secretly other times in plain day. The exception was made by some ghosts and poor devils that enjoyed their ungliness too much. Being evil with no other reason than the pleasure of being so is a choice too. There's always an exception, always some exception from the rule. Not everyone deserves to be loved; not everyone asks for love; not everyone cares."

 "Never let any entity, be it human or alien, crush you so bad that you feel less than what you are or you can be! Never let any love of yours for anything and anyone kill that faith of yours in whatever kept you moving on and along before! Never let anyone playing the role of the enemy win their chances to a real succes over you and your spirit! You know what you are, you know what you love; never let them send you to the hell you do not deserve: never! 

 And when never still happens, because there was enough humanity for it to happen, make that forever in it break into the pieces to work for you a s a weapon against those who did it and unfairily hurt you. 

Humanity can take a lot of tears and make something with and out of them; believe me on this one, I kind of happen to know. I can only hope for the best to happen and that justice we sometimes insanely ask for - it is the safest and sanest thing to ask for. And I cried and I'll cry some more, if I have to; this time for my justice, this time for our common goal. To make a better world happen for us all. 

 

 (And if we have to make it on our separate worlds then so be it! Peace to those who need and deserve it!)"

"I cannot love anyone truly when I don't feel truly loved; I cannot be of any use when my purpose and meaning, my new found use in this life seems to be put aside, at ease and lowered by laughter or tears of those despicable idiots I keep some count of desperately trying to understand who I am because I made the mistake inviting them to meet a small part of my heart once, hoping that this time things won't get ugly - but they did and I felt ugly again... as if it was my fault. Never fear the bright and the beautiful! Never fear the strong and smart - fear the stupid who are brilliant enough to wish to take away from you everuthing that is truly valuable leaving you with nothing but the memory of who you were and what you loved, lingering inside your shell, dying to be rescued by some abstract god or an angel of justice: only the light going with justice can be the Light I am looking for! she watched the clock ticking and thought of the feel of cold icecream and hot tea on home-made biscuits, the pieces of pie made by a loving grand-mother comforting her childhood with her warm true voice and her beautiful stories, bringing news and gossiping about cultural events they might find a way to get to; one day they'll go to Paris and from there to Rome, then Venice was waiting and Prague, then Vienna and Stockholm. They'll see Zurich and Berlin then off to Budapest and down to the Carpathians to see the places where Dracula was haunting the thieves and predators, the enemies of the throne attacking his valued kingdom. Then back home, but first an escape to London where they should have the loveliest time with some friends they never paid a real visit before. 

'Fear the ugly and too frustrated to look at their own humble or not beings, dear! grand-mother used to occasionally repeat to her. Fear them because they lack your faith in what right or wrong, because they'd kill to get to their wished valuable forms: you see? once they put their eyes on you, you must find a way to runaway and hide! Otherwise... you'll have to fight them and for that you need to be extremely strong and have an army of friends who think likewise, who found their inner beauty and learned how to show that, who do not hate another being for their possesions, no matter the kind, but for the harmful things they've done, if any, to get them. Fear those who attack with their fake kindness not those who embrace you with the coldness of a soldier who knows the fight isn't over and will be there for you, when you need him or her too. Fear the sneaky and tricky; sometimes they seem to be wonderful but they aren't good people. And fear yourself too; you might not understand this, but you do have the strength to produce damage to a good friend even if your intentions are good. Think better twice and act once, the much older than me used to say. And as she leaned forward she whispered: - nobody said that you can't think it very fast though! then she winked and smiled.' Their warm complicity lit up a flame and the girl she was back then was never to let forget the woman now about what a great grand-mother said about The Light." 

Enjoy your time among those you have chosen to love and care for. Enjoy it now because after you're gone it won't matter to you anymore; it won't mean a thing and it it will it will be cold and distant enough for you not to connect with them anymore. 

Enjoy the presence of human warmth for as long as you are able to feel it and care for it. 

 

Love. Peace. Joy

 

see also: "The bat of stars and the salt on the lips"

(for May is looking for her love)

Joan and the Communions

 

The voices of Joan have helped:

Those voices of Joan have erased the past,

Screaming: it's over! Are you... ok?

The voices of Joan have rescued me from all trouble that I could not handle!

Voices of the ones I once loved: all left behind!

The voices of Joan lifted me up

And I learned how to fly!

Their vices shut me down,

Got lit back by the candle of love.

Who loved me and why?

I am still asking myself and I look down

On the planet I left behind;

From above I send my blessings to you to do well, to do good,

I was and still am your nicest friend.

Perhaps this was your problem;

I'm sorry if it's such a great offence,

But no sorry's can bring back a friend and help me trust someone else again.

I will have to do well with whatever comes in hand;

I will have to surrender to a peculiar faith

And be strong,

Believe that others might just believe in the same things that I do.

To all my friends out there, left behind: be strong and beautiful as you always were!

I'm sorry: my tears were supposed to extinguish the fires unfairly lit

and carry down the river

the candles of our lost hopes and dreams for humanity.

 

And now I find that I can love again!

May, be!

"From smoke they evolved... The spiralling smoke of a god that has burned his planet for the sake of your love!" 

I don't know what happened, I just know that I felt happy to be born; a new child enjoying a new life, discovering the beauties and wonders of the world.

 

"I have seen the future into a present !"

 

           ≈ That was meant to last ≈

  
~ (the present carries legacies that make a total blast!) ~ 
 
So, daring she was and so kind yet felt so betrayed and hurt... maybe her pride, maybe
another one's ? 
 
Collisions of prides for the illusions of glory and fame? for their happiness... maybe;
only perhaps... could it...?
 
May be!

May Be!

"Don't worry,
I'm not going to take your love away,
Do not be scared,
I'm not looking to steal your miracle,
Be it true or fake!
Do not be afraid, I'm not your criminal.
I only wanted to see if there's still love
Around here!
 
That's all!"

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